Comparing Yourself to Others – Allowed to be Content with Your Style

Creativity Killer # 7 – Comparing Yourself to Others

In creative business, some days come easier than others. Sometimes, we’re focused and on task and cranking things out. Then other times, it feels like slogging through mud while walking uphill in a snowstorm.    

What makes the difference? Why are ideas exciting and energizing one day but overwhelming and unappealing the next day? What gets in the way of motivation and kills creativity? In this post, we’ll talk about the last of seven creativity killers and give ourselves permission to move beyond them.

Have you ever struggled with comparing yourself to others?

For years, I thought the comparison fight was just part of life, something I had to deal with and get over. And in a way, it is. But as I began to pay attention to my wrestle with comparison, I realized its impact ran deeper. It took me down a path that led to a shutdown of my creative energy. And it ended up being more about how I see myself than about the ruler I hold up to others. 

Comparison leads to discouragement and the feeling that we don’t or can’t measure up. These feelings then block our ability to see the time and learning behind a piece of art or writing. We can no longer visualize what time and experience will add to our creative work.

With the rise of social media and ease of sharing our lives and work, it stands to reason that comparing ourselves to others and the resulting discouragement will rise as well.

Personally, I don’t want to measure my worth against other people, and I don’t want to see my art under the cloud of better or worse than so-and-so. I want to make what I want to make … in my own way, giving other artists the same freedom and seeing them all as different and good.

And in doing so, add depth and beauty to life together rather than competition and bragging. 

So, what happens in you when you start comparing yourself to others? How does it kill creativity?

First, let’s talk about why we compare ourselves and our work with others’ abilities.

When I’m confident and pleased with who I am and what I’m doing, I feel no need to compare. I’m able to look at the work of other people and see it for what it is … their expression of what they see or how they feel.

• But when I’m feeling insecure or doubting my ability to make this creative venture work, I see their art through my desire to be where they are. I want what they have but doubt my abilities. That doubt causes me to step away from my creative work in uncertainty. “Do I have what it takes?” I ask myself. So, my doubt in my abilities drives my tendency to compare myself to others which, in turn, causes more doubt. 

• When I spend too much time looking at other people’s art, I forget that I love my own work … the challenge of making something tangible from what’s in my head … the progress in my ability as I keep working … the beauty that comes from working hard at something. Creativity isn’t just about the end result, it’s about the process.

• If I fall into comparing, I start thinking I should make things like someone else. No. I am definitely not suggesting copying. But all over social media, I see similar products and ideas. Some of that is to be expected. But I have to wonder how many people have compared their work to others’ work and decided to give up their own bent in their search for success. But in a drive for success, the personal touches are lost. 

What can you do when you feel yourself starting to compare yourself to others? 

• Remember that you want to be known for who you are, not for how much you looked like someone else. Allow yourself to delight in their success and be patient in your own journey.
• Remind yourself that you are unique and so is your art. Your uniqueness is the difference and the reason that comparing is pointless. How do you compare unique to unique? You can’t because unique has no comparison. They are each lovely in their own way.

• Keep your nose in your own bowl. This is a saying that we use at our house. Some things aren’t our business. If I keep my eyes on my own screen/project/business and refuse to look at what others are doing, I end up creating what I want to make without the influence of what others are making. It happens naturally. Then, when I’m doing what I love, I don’t care what they are doing and certainly don’t compare. I am content with my style. 
• Try to focus on your individual impact rather than a quick road to success. How do you want to influence others? What do you want to be known for? What makes you unique? Those are the things that will add a personal note to your work, making yours uniquely appealing.

• Remember that someone will always be farther than you in their creative journey … and someone will always start after you. Time put into learning always makes a difference in creative ability. 

I want to encourage you to find your true self and walk your own creative path. You are allowed to be content with your own style, your own creative journey. And when you are content, you will also be better able to marvel in others’ separate creative journeys. 

We’ve reached the end of our Creativity Killer series, I hope you will be more aware of the things that kill your creativity and have ways of dealing with them when they show up. I’d love to hear which of the seven Creativity Killers resonated with you most. Share your thoughts in the comment section below. 

Whatever you do, keep doing what you love. Write it. Draw it. Dance it. Dream it. 

Happy Creating!

If you missed having a tutorial this week, check out last week’s Pumpkin Drawing with Flourished Vines tutorial or check out the Watercolor or Hand Lettering categories for more ideas and tutorials.